Feelings that are not returned
Saturday 5th June, 2010 - 12:29pm
Update: My portfolio is now working, please go take a look, more pieces will be added of the course of the next few days.
I hate, rather I’m jealous of how Hollywood portrays love and friendships. In movies there are always those two girls who have been friends since childhood, they are each others best friends. Both of them feel the same way about the other. I know that my friends love me but sometimes I wonder how important I am to them.
Last night I was talking to one of my closest friends, lately I just feel as if we are growing apart. I feel like I might not mean as much to her as she does to me. It’s terrible when you find out problems your friends are going thought days and weeks after they happen. I’m not the first person she can talk to, which makes me sad. She did not tell me about her latest problem until a week and a half after it happened, all of her other friends whom I always thought were not as close as us, knew first. How can you claim you are close to someone if their not one of the first people you would tell when something happens in your life? Maybe it’s because we go to different schools, she sees her other friends about everyday and me (even thought we live close) one or two times a week.
I really don’t know how to talk to her about this in person, mainly because I feel like she will just think I’m being ridiculous, probably one of the reasons I’m not her closest friend. I know that I’m probably being over dramatic, but I feel terrible that she can’t/won’t open up to me. We’re both growing up and the situations in our lives are changing, she might have the more exciting life as of right now but I still just feel terrible and jealous.
Lately I just feel like I’m losing a bond with all my friend. Two years ago I lost one of my closest friends because we both changed and were growing apart, drama was the ultimate reason for our split but ever since then I feel as if I lost one of the closest people in my life. Looking back I can’t believe I’m not friends with this girl anymore, we were always doing things together, we would spend hours on the phone and now we barley look at each other in the hallway. How can friendships disappear so easily. Ultimately I’m afraid the friendship between the first girl I mentioned and me will end up with us either just being “friends” or us not talking at all.
Aw I’m sorry, Jessica. :/ I know how you feel because I’ve been there. I have a very close friend & recently we really drifted far apart but now we’re close again. It was hard on me because I viewed her like a sister & when we grew apart, I cried so hard. haha it was really pathetic & my boyfriend had to witness it…sadly. But yeah, it was hard on me & I never told her that but we’ve rekindled our friendship.
Sometimes it’s just better to just talk it through & tell her what’s on her mind. Tell her that you miss being close to her & that you treasure your friendship with her. But sometimes if you guys can’t connect or feel that you’re growing far apart, perhaps she’s not the bestest life friend of your life..you know?
I have lots of friends that I hardly talk to but I know that once we hang out again or talk, we’re still very close. I don’t have a childhood friend but my close friend that I was talking about .. I mean, I’ve known her for like 7 years. It’s a waste for that friendship to die, you know? Well actually has been since I was in like 6th grade which means 8 years. haha. Dang, almost a decade of friendship!
But anyway, I know you’re young so don’t fret about it too much, dear. There are 7 billion people on this Earth, you’re bound to find someone wonderful. You’re bound to find your.. “friend soulmate” if you will.
Just don’t go looking for friends, they’ll find you..just like your real soulmate haha. 
But anyway, friends are easy to make but true friends are hard to come by.
Btw I got an iMac. I absolutely love it! I love that I don’t need to strain myself when I move to an apartment this year because it’s just a huge monitor that I’ll place in a box & put in my car.
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Aw man. I am sorry to hear you’re feeling this way.
I know I sound pretty blunt and bitter, but friendships can go as easily as they come. It is awful when friendships just die because of differences or just because of lack of contact.
I know I’m being so cliched, but it’s true that the true friends will stay with you. It’s a bit like us with commenting. We comment each other from time to time – but I don’t ignore you or anything. It’s like an ongoing bond. There would not be a reason for me to just cut off ties with you or stop talking to you. I know the internet is “always there” (whereas moving schools means that you really are apart) but even though you and I are often busy we still find the time to comment each other and tweet each other from time to time. I mean, I’m sure you’ve tried to contact these friends. It really is their loss.
I know it’s hard but try not to dwell on it. You’ll make some new friends. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other. Heck, I’ve only known Sebby for less than a year and we’re great friends and everything!
It’s upsetting, I know, especially to be the last one to find out about things. Now that seems to be the case since I don’t have a Facebook. But if they really were my friends they would tell me. My best friend Lilian and I have been friends for ages, we only see each other about once a year but we talk online all the time through MSN (since I don’t have Facebook).
RE: LOL ahhh, I often do that when I don’t know lyrics; I’ll just make them up hahaha. I don’t get ringtones in my head unless they’re ringtones of songs. XD
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first of all: really like your portfolio (: it’s all so neat!!
second: are you reading my mind right now? this is insane!! loads of my blogs are always about my ‘best friend’…i can never talk to her now either and she tells everyone else her problems/what’s going on in her life and i’m always the last to know too!!
i told her she was isolating herself from all our friends though and she turned it back on me: i’m always the ‘big bad wolf’ so that made me even more angry!! she thinks now that we’re friends again, and i’ve accepted the blame (!?) and everything is fine between us, but seriously i don’t know how to talk to her anymore…
what you’ve got to remember is that none of this is YOUR fault…whatever happens don’t accept the blame!! i think the only thing you can really do is try and see her/meet up more!! i know how awkward it can be though, believe me, but i’m sure if she’s a true friend to you, you’ll pull through!!
i guess we all have these insecurities though…it’s just whether we chose to recognise them…i don’t ever think i can fully trust my friends with everything…but maybe that’s just me…there are some things i would never tell anyone, even them!! but the friends that stick around are the ones that are worth the most!!
chin up
xx
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stunning site!
i love your style of layouts, absolutely incredible!! <3
well done! xxx
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I know exactly how you’re feeling! I feel like this everyday! Like, your friends aren’t changing, and you’re not changing… Its just you’re growing up and all going in different directions! I hate it.
I love your portfolio though, especially the illustrations
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